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The High Performance Paradox

A weekly newsletter delivered to your inbox every Thursday. Practical tips and insights to thrive in both, without compromising one or the other. Learn research-based strategies for sustaining energy, focus, and fulfillment from the inside out. Success shouldn't cost you your well-being.

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Featured Post

Why Values-Driven Goals Are Easier to Sustain (Even During Life’s Chaos)

I hit my breaking point four years ago. On paper, everything looked successful. But inside? I was anxiously navigating through life, constantly fixated on the future without being present. Then doctors found a tumor in my hip. The diagnosis wasn’t just physical, it was existential. While lying in the hospital bed awaiting surgery, I confronted a devastating truth: I’d been measuring my life’s worth by checkboxes on an achievement list rather than by moments of genuine connection and purpose....

A man sitting in front of a window covered in sticky notes

Your top performer just quit without warning. That entrepreneur you follow? "Taking a break to focus on mental health." Your most promising team lead hasn't taken a vacation in 18 months. If you're building anything meaningful in 2025, whether it's a startup, a team, or a side hustle, you're watching the great unraveling of talent. And no, throwing more money or "wellness perks" at the problem isn't fixing it. Here's the truth nobody wants to admit: Two leaders face the same shit (crushing...

A very tall building with a clock on it's side

Most of us know that setting goals is crucial for success, but there’s one problem: We’re solving the wrong problem. While most goal-setting advice focuses on motivation, willpower, and habits, I’ve noticed something fascinating: The people who most consistently hit their goals aren’t necessarily the most motivated or disciplined. They’re the ones who are ruthlessly specific about defining success. Here’s what I mean: Last year, I tracked hundreds of goals I set for myself and my clients. The...

A group of people watching fireworks on the water

One of my coaching clients recently had a breakthrough moment in our session. “I’ve set the same goals every year for the past five years,” they told me. “But this time, when you asked me WHY these goals mattered to me, everything shifted. I realized I was chasing what I thought I should want, not what actually matters to me.” That conversation revealed a pattern I’ve seen hundreds of times as a coach: When we set goals without connecting them to our core values, we’re not just setting...

A desert landscape with rocks and plants in the foreground

"I am able to accomplish these things because I know that I am unconditionally loved." When I heard these words from a bold, well-known author this year, they crystallized everything about my 2023 journey. This understanding of unconditional love as a foundation for professional courage helped me make two significant pivots this year. First, I left my comfortable position in non-profit healthcare for a late-stage startup. I never thought I would make a change like that but it has been a...

A couple of birds standing on top of a sandy hill

This morning, I discovered something strange: I spent more energy avoiding writing than it would have taken to write this entire newsletter. 45 minutes of staring at a blank document. Checking email. Reorganizing my desktop. All while my brain invented increasingly creative reasons why I wasn’t “ready” to start. But here’s what most productivity experts get wrong: This wasn’t procrastination. It wasn’t laziness. In fact, my brain was doing exactly what millions of years of evolution designed...

A river running through a lush green valley

It’s 6:43 AM, and I’m staring at two emails. The first announces a significant challenge at work. The second is from my daughter’s school, celebrating her selection as “Leader of the Week” complete with a photo of her beaming next to a poster about servant leadership. The irony isn’t lost on me. The night before, I skipped her bedtime routine to prepare for a board meeting. “Daddy has work” I’d explained. She nodded with that understanding that somehow hurts more than disappointment. Now,...

A bird's eye view of a garden in the middle of a park

I recently met with a founder who had it all figured out. She had mapped her company's next decade in stunning detail. All of it. Product roadmaps, market expansions, hiring plans. Everything was perfect. "But," she confessed, pouring her third coffee of our morning meeting, "I'm exhausted. And terrified. The more detailed my plans become, the more I realize how much could go wrong." She had fallen into the excellence trap. The same trap I see consuming people every day: the belief that...

A lit up birdcage in the middle of the night

An uncomfortable truth: We’ve normalized sacrificing life for work, treating it as a badge of honor. In boardrooms and break rooms across the world, people brag about 80-hour weeks and missed family dinners as if they’re Olympic medals. Leaders celebrate those who “put in the hours” while quietly burning out their best talent. It’s backward. It’s damaging. And it needs to stop. Your Calendar Shouldn’t Be Your Cage There’s a reason why no one’s epitaph reads, "They really maximized shareholder...

A wooden dock sitting in the middle of a body of water

You know that burn in your muscles after a killer workout? Now imagine if your brain had the same relationship with discomfort... Here’s the million-dollar question: Why do we celebrate physical discomfort but run from its mental equivalent? Think about your last challenging workout. You wake up the next day, and… no soreness. What’s your first thought? “I didn’t push hard enough.” “That workout was too easy.” “I should have done more.” Yet when we face mental challenges, that same discomfort...